Quite The Day

Well it started out as quite the day..

I went to pick Logan up from school today and as i came down the street in front of the school I could see all the Highschool students out in the football field, and as I approached the entrance it was barracaded with police cars. my heart began to race a little and the officer told me the school was in lock down and i couldnt go in. I explained that I had a preschooler in there. He told me to go to the other entrance and talk to the police officer there, so I went back to the other entrance and there was no officer so I drove down to the side of the building to where the preschool room was and saw a few parents standing out there so i got out and was told by some man walking away from the building that our children were with the highschool students out in the field and that they couldnt be released to us until they dismissed everyone to go back into the school and do a role call to make sure everyone is accounted for. This man said they didnt say what the lock down was for but that he thought it was for a bomb threat. So I went out and found logan and sat with her on the bleachers for about 20-30 min until they let us go back to the school where they took a role call and let us go... I swear what are these days coming to.........

Then it was just a run run day for me. I had visiting teachers coming this afternoon and right after that I had to go to a meeting with Austin's teacher then had to run home and get everyone off to austin baseball game and they had to eat dinner in the car on the way because we didnt have time to sit down and eat. It just been so crazy.. I came away from austins parent teacher confrence just angry, and sad and worried all at the same time.. Apparently He is doing much better as far as his behavior somewhat but he is still struggeling. I guess out here you are not allowed to be or act like a boy and this frustrates me. It was tough to move out in the middle of a year and children out here are so involved in school and other activities that there is no time for kids to be kids. you seriously have to arrange play dates.

The academics out here are crazy. Lots of very advanced geniuses out here. austin came into this school and really struggled. He made some bad choices right off and it has caused himself to gain a reputation as a bully or bad kid so to say right from the beginning. So the teacher has told me the kids in the class dont want to befriend him because he has set this frame of mind in the students minds that he is a bully or gets in trouble so they dont want to have anything to do with him. there is one boy in his class that he knows well that is in the same primary class with him so he was a comfort to my son from the first day of school and they seem to hit it off pretty good, but they seem to not be a good match at times. They seem to get in trouble alot when they are together.. In school, in church, in scouts.. i have had complaints from the scout teacher as well as from the school that Austins behavior when he is with this kid is not good. Yet at other times they are so good with each other and play good. Its so hard because this is his only friend he plays with that lives 6 blocks away and is the only boy his age around us.. Apparently they really frown on kids having any physical contact with each other or playing rough or even pretend fighting. No pretending to play army or shoot em up kinda stuff. It really freaks everyone out around here. At our other school this was all considered to be normal boy play. They would play fight or tackle each other or pretend to be army guys and shoot each other and it was ok. So it has been a rude awakening for him to come here and not be able to do or act like this. So not only did he have to pick up and move in the middle of the year, leave all his friends behind. Come to an area where the church is so spread out and a minority and have no children to play with in a decent walking or riding your bike area but then to be told you cant talk or act the same as you always have, and be tagged as a bully or trouble maker from day one. And the sad thing is the things he got in trouble for were things that he would have never got in trouble for in schools back home. i.e (play fighting at recess, or showing his karate moves to another kid, He did hit a kid because he was defending a friend who was getting pushed around and i have to say part of me feels that is not bad although i can understand why he got in trouble and he shouldnt have hit. One recent one was he and his sister were playing around on the bus mimicing a movie they watched and my son slapped her across the face a little to hard. yes he should get in trouble for that by me but not his teacher. A student on the bus got freaked out when he saw that so had to tell the teacher. You know normal sibling rivalry. Who hasn't hit their brother or sister before. He apologized to her for hitting her to hard but they were trying to re-inact a scene from a cartoon movie. Things are taken way to seriously out here. ) It's a shame to see people think that because kids play like their shooting each other or play fighting that they are going to grow up and be bad kids or gang members. He's only in 3rd grade... I remember playing shoot em up when I was a little girl. It's sad what the world today is coming to. I definently understand why some percieve it that way becuase of all the bad things that happen in society today but its hard to know where to draw the line. Sorry more rambling!!

My heart aches for him and i wish I knew what to do for him. It seems he is always angry, He hates school, he gets angry at the homework, he gets angry at having to do chores around the house he gets very mouthy with us as parents he is just plain awnry. And i dont know how to help him. I'v tried working with his teacher to try and get him involved with other kids but things just are not working. We have tried talking to him until we are blue. We have tried different approaches in the way we talk to him we have tried to be understanding. I am so angry at hearing how my child has made a reputation for himself and how his behavior is not so good. It just makes me want to come back to utah so bad and put them back in the schools there. I am not condoling his behavior and i definently can understand the situations but the whole feel out here is just so diffrent here as far as school and church goes. Very frustrating for all of us. I am considering putting him into counseling to see if talking about it will help but i just dont know what to do anymore. I just feel like going home back to utah would help immensly. I really wanted to give NJ a fighting chance but from the beginning all I have wanted to do is go home.

I know there is a purpose to why we are here but I am really stuggeling with it right now. I hate to see my kids suffer and struggle and have a hard time. aaaagghhh...

Oh and did I forget to mention that I am still way behind on my die cut orders I feel like I am never going to get caught up with all this running oround i am doing. I guess i should be thankful to have them and the extra money it gives me but my time is just so limited lately and I seem to be getting bombarded with orders right now. It must be scrapbooking season... LOL

Well I am off to go to an orientation for the new school he will be attending next year so better go. If anyone has any advice I would love to hear from you. Sorry for such a long rambling blog but i just had to get it out and maybe someday I can look back at this and say oh what a funny time that was and look how we have grown and changed.